Alfred goes mental, I decline an invite to a 'Chinese Valentine's Day' party and Frank Zappa nights

Yesterday was Chinese Valentine's Day, and you guessed it, Alfred called and invited me to a party with his work. (I find this amusing for 2 reasons..first, they also celebrate our valentines day on Feb 14th, and also because I've never seen a Chinese public display of affection. Suffice it to say they are a pretty cold race and do not exhibit physical acts of affection...with family or lovers. Its weird.) Anyhoo, I politely declined his invitation. Oh yeah, and this is rich, when he invited me he told me that I should wear "perfume and a dress." Really? I asked him why and he says to me, "because then you will be so popular there!" Interesting. But seeing that I have a 10 pm curfew and he invited me at 7, it just wasn't happening. Never mind the fact that we would have been taken to the party via a 'party bus' with 70 other people. This cracked me up because the Chinese do not party. I mean, one beer and they're sh*t canned. They just don't party. But hey, that's cool, a party bus for party people. Two and a half hours pass and I get a facebook friend request from him. Had I not blocked him on facebook, I literally would have been his only friend on there. Who goes to the trouble of creating a facebook account (in china!) to have 1 single friend on it? So 3 hours pass and I start receiving text messages from him.  (I'm just going to type them all in a row)  "...so sad :( / so sad, so dispointing. it only take 10 minutes by taxi/ i have red wine waiting for you/ ur school rule sucks. i wish u were here/ everyone so disappointed with me because you didnt come..." One thing I should clarify is that if there is one thing the Chinese hate more than anything in the world, its losing face. Safe to say Alfred lost some face last night with his co-workers by me not showing up. One more hour passes, and then the obsessive instant messages on QQ start. I'm talking like 20-30 messages within 30 minutes. I eventually block him. I actually thought that would help. Nope. He then proceeds to friend me back on QQ using (and I counted the exact number) 23 fake names. Every time a new one pops up, I block and delete...block and delete...block and delete, again. To bring this story to an end I will wrap it up by saying that I awoke this morning to 2 of the cruelest, creepiest and coldest emails I have ever received in my life. From Alfred. No need for me to go into what they were about, but lets just say that they scared the shit out of me and the security guard at my school has been told to never let him in. Today I only received 5 'fake friend' requests from him on QQ. Things are looking up, yay!

Tonight I had 2 knocks on my door. The first was because John the Brit sent a link to me on facebook that made me laugh so hard I almost pissed my pants (yes, people actually came and knocked on my door to see if I was 'ok'. Apparently I have inherited my father's robust laugh).  I will copy the link below, because its just that good. Very typical China. The second knock came about 50 minutes later (mind you, its only 11:10 pm here right now).  This time I'm pretty sure the knock was in response to the music I was playing. I had "Willie The Pimp" by Frank Zappa playing. Loudly. However this time, I knew the person knocking on my door. It was my friend Anna, a Chinese teacher who lives down the hall. In her best broken English she says something to the likes of "Oh, I didn't realize you awake. Heard music. Oh. Ok. Ok. goodnight. Ok." Haha! The only thing I did throughout the duration of this 'conversation' was nod my head and smile. Fair enough. So as for now, I've traded my speakers for headphones, Frank Zappa for a mobster documentary on youtube and my cup of cabernet for a cup of green tea. And hopefully before too long, I'll drift into a blissful stage of REM that is free of Alfred and full of rock and roll.

A must see:  http://www.buzzfeed.com/nataliemorin/chinese-signs-that-got-seriously-lost-in-tranlsation

Setting boundaries w/ Alfred...and tons of pics of my school

Well, I laid down the law with Alfred today. Hope I didn't break his little heart, but none the less I'm proud of myself for doing so. He messaged me on QQ this afternoon telling me that his company wants to transfer him to the Beijing office. Mind you, he had already messaged me earlier today and asked some rather personal questions...to which I finally had to start responding to in 'all caps' (something I don't do when communicating with another person). I couldn't believe he had the gall to ask me some of the things he was asking. And no, they weren't sexual questions, just personal and none of his business. So a couple of hours after the all caps incident, I get the QQ message about him moving to Beijing. Hmmm? Seemed a bit suspicious to me. Was it an attempt to get pity out of me? Possibly. I responded to him via text message while walking to grab some dinner. I told him that I was sorry to hear that. His immediate response? "Can I go to ur place now?" Umm, no, you can't. I responded back telling him no because I was out getting dinner. He responds back (and I'm using these quotation marks accurately), "ok, i c. if u dnt mind i would like to visit you everyday." Wow, I think to myself, this guy wastes absolutely no time at all and is also very shameless...or crazy and obsessed. I immediately respond to this with, "i don't know about that. that is an awful lot and i don't want to get in trouble with my school (security guard incident). we are friends, alfred. i am not your girlfriend." Ten minutes pass, ten long minutes, and I get this gem of a text..."i know. but i really love u and u dnt need to do anything in return. i know im not good enough to be ur bf, i just behave like a close friend. can i?" WHAT!? (sorry, all caps were merited just then.) I wanted to tell him that first of all, my close male friends don't simultaneously give me the creeps while I am enjoying their friendship. Second of all, I don't make 'good' friends in 14 hours. Wtf!? I tell him, "yes, but close friends don't hang out that much. its not normal to spend that much time together...we can hangout sometimes, just not everyday. u have to have what we call in america 'boundaries.' i hope you understand." He tells me, "ok, i c," and that was exactly one hour and 13 minutes ago. So that's that. My friend John (John the Brit), told me that it sounds like Alfred might have a little problem with possessiveness. I think I concur. 

On a happier note, here are some pics of my new school. There is a lot of construction going on right now in preparation for the kiddos coming back to school September 1st. It really is a lovely school. Has all the amenities of an American school. Not to mention that every classroom is equipped with a piano...which means most nights after a couple glasses of red wine, I sneak into one of the classrooms and go to town for an hour or so. It's great therapy. Also been dealing with a pretty gnarly stomach ache for the last 2 days. Went on to webmd.com and according to them I'm either suffering from viral gastroenteritis, giardiasis or food poisoning. Awesome! Like I've said before, every day in China is blessed with surprises, haha!

              I live on the 5th floor of this building. School is 3 different big buildings.

                    Thank God the construction is on 2nd floor.  I can't hear a thing!

                Inside some of the classrooms...and the piano I sneak down to play at night.

“For the perfect idler, for the passionate observer it becomes an immense source of enjoyment to establish his dwelling in the throng, in the ebb and flow, the bustle, the fleeting and the infinite. To be away from home and yet to feel at home anywhere; to see the world, to be at the very center of the world, and yet to be unseen of the world, such are some of the minor pleasures of those independent, intense and impartial spirits, who do not lend themselves easily to linguistic definitions. The observer is a prince enjoying his incognito wherever he goes.”   Charles Baudelaire 

Joe, Dane and I at the West Lake Youth House. Awesome hostel I stayed at for 11 nights, prior to getting a private room at my school. They are Australian and are traveling from Beijing to St. Petersburg, via The Trans-Siberian Railway. They're on it right now, pretty cool.


More pictures from Hangzhou...

native nights...And realizing that not one room in the 5 floor building you live in has a fire detector

Walked to old street area tonight...and took pictures all along the way. Pictures with better light were taken close to where I live/work, the others were taken in old street area, my favorite part of this town. This town really comes to life at night. I imagine that's due to 2 things. One, that that's when a lot of people work to earn their living (selling food,  jewelry and mostly items indigenous to their native province), and also because its just so freaking hot here during the day. Like a lot of places, Hangzhou and Shanghai have recently  been hitting all time high's in terms of temperature. People hangout in the malls and subway systems all day just to escape the heat. So when the sun finally goes down it really starts to feel like this city has a pulse. I love it!

 This little girl was dying for me to take her picture, it was really cute! But she wouldn't stay still in her poses and after 5 attempts this was the final shot.

 This guy's making 'pao mo.' It's like 'chinese pie bread,' good stuff.

Realized my room doesn't have a smoke detector. Turns out none of the rooms in my 5 story building do. Kind of humorous. More on this later though...

 Chicken feet. No, I haven't gone there yet. Not yet, its too soon.

American Amenities and first dates...

Yesterday was a great day. I had an iced vanilla soy latte at Starbucks, ate a 6" sub at subway, discovered a SEPHORA and introduced Widespread Panic to 2 of my Chinese friends. I also spent exactly 14 hours with Alfred. Alfred, the 24 yr old electrical engineer who befriended me on 'QQ.' (QQ is Chinese version of Facebook.) I agree to meet Alfred, face to face, for the first time yesterday. In my mind, its nothing more than meeting some locals, them getting to practice their English, me getting to practice my Chinese and socializing over some authentic Chinese food. However, in Alfred's mind, I'm pretty sure he thought it was a first date. Bless his heart. How do you tell someone that you are in no way, shape or form attracted to them, never will be and want nothing more than a platonic friendship? I suppose by continuously dropping subtle hints...like the one I just now dropped on QQ telling him that I didn't want to send him the link to my blog because its very private, like a diary and that I only let my family read it. Yes, maybe I'm going to hell for telling him that, but come on? It would be a major hindrance to my writing and writing style. I'm very straightforward and aware that sometimes my writing might sound unethical and lacking in diplomacy. I write from the heart more so than the head. He also just instant messaged me that he tried to set up a Facebook account just now but that for whatever reason (China) didn't let him. Thank God, is all I have to say about that. Boundaries are essential and I have my reasons for not wanting my Chinese social networks to ever intersect with my American ones. Ok, so back to yesterday with Alfred. He told me that I am his new idol. Very sweet. A bit creepy, too. What's more interesting? Him telling me the first day we meet that his dream in life is, "...to marry a blonde American girl and have family and live in China." And just to clarify, I was absolutely NOT giving out ANY kind of vibe or signal that would make him think I am interested in him like that. I swear the only thing I am guilty of is being kind to him. Being myself, nothing more, nothing less. He told me last night when he left my school ( I live at my school for now) that the security guard yelled at him for being here since 'its a girls dormitory,' and told him that next time he will not let him in and we can just talk 'through the gate.' Although that is completely ridiculous, at the same time I'm almost grateful for the 'curfew/locked gate' thing. Otherwise, Alfred might very well set up camp outside my door. I am not and will not lead the poor man on. If he continues at this pace I will absolutely tell him, sometime this week, that I just want a friendship with him.

Alfred and I at sushi last night...in the 12th hour of our 14 hour hangout marathon, haha! His face is beet red from drinking a small glass of soju and mango juice. I couldn't believe how low his tolerance was, so naturally I had to snap a picture.

a link to my new city, Hangzhou. Check it out, its beautiful!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hangzhou-China/110339342327129#

I got the job, pay is way better than last school, got an abode and got peace of mind~

ok...so things can change pretty quickly. i went from going up shit creek without a paddle, to having a secure job, a secure place to live and finding a place that sells both 'tobasco' AND 'franks red hot sauce,' in merely 3 and 1/2 days. maybe my new coined phrase should be "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." Im going to bed right now, but wanted to drop this short line. things are good and happiness is abound. pictures soon to follow.

Tons of typos, grammatical and spelling errors. i wrote this on my tiny android phone, in my tiny room, at my hostel..more to come, justgot VPN working today

where in the heck do i even begin? I have not written in my blog for almost 2
2 weeks. and while sooo very much has happened, i really haven't the
faintest clue as to where I should begin speaking about it all. i am at a hostel in
hangzhou, zhejiang province, china. I have been homeless for about a week (they have become extended family at this point). because I have lost my American bank (ATM) card, I am sleeping on the couch at the hostel, free of charge.  i am safe, i am not hungry, i have friends, i am poor, but i am happy. (happiness and positivity;  must consciously excercise; it's ridiculously hard.) And as i have found through experience, at the end of the day, being happy (or alive) is truly the only thing that matters to me. i hate to complain, and i will really try not to. but for sake of
storytelling its only fair that i voice some of the many hiccups i continuously encounter on a day to day basis here. the phrase "if it ain't one thing its another," at this point, in month 2 of my excursion, i feel that i could have been the individual to coin this phrase. seriously. so, i leave my last city Taizhou and travel with my friend John, to
Shanghai. while in shanghai, i commence looking for another teaching job
because i loathed the one i had in taizhou. not to mention i got
fired *because I loathed the job. i hated my boss and safe to say the feeling was mutual.
i hated the way they treated education. there WAS no education. rather,
they herded them, the students, like sheep through the gates of our school
all the while only caring about the student 'clients' checkbook and how much money they could contribute to our school via registering for classes.
bottom line, education not important, money very important. it disgusted
me. and when i found out how our chinese male boss spoke about us foreign teachers to the other chinese staff it nearly made me sick. i couldn't fake
working for a man like that. i had to get out and boy i sure did.

Which brings me to Shanghai w/ John the Brit...
Shanghai was a comedy of errors if ever there was one. ipod stolen by cab
driver, computer screen broke (by yours truly), effed my bad knee from
ski injury AGAIN, and was recruited for the so called 'kindergarten' job
that brought me to where i am right now, Hangzhou, Zhejiang, China.

Hangzhou, Zhejiang, China...
all the promises of a fruitful kindergarten. recruiter told me about job. wild and unwise i jumped at the opportunity and before long, i found myself with a one way first class ticket to Hangzhou. at station in Hangzhou, after realizing i have lost my bank card and now officially BROKE, i phone my head teacher at kindergarten, actually thinking that i am going to get a slice of sympathy from her. i was wrong. the kind woman texts to me, and i quote, "you can just stay the night at the Mcdonald's by the school." I shit you not, the woman actually had the audacity to text that to me. really?! i get to the school Tuesday morning. this is after attempting to get there Monday morning but throwing up in the middle of the street after trying to hail a damn taxi for half an hour. i literally puked, all over the place in the middle of the street, from heat exhaustion. (inside scoop...the Chinese are perhaps the most racist race i have EVER encountered in my 33 years of life. i don't say that out of any kind of
resentment either. and not ALL fit this label, just most.) its totally normal to be waiting for a taxi and for a taxi driver to pass me up as if I'm invisible and move on to pick up the next Chinese that is also waiting patiently for a cab. so i get to the kindergarten, i get the tour, i get
what i believe to be all the necessary details. in my best american form, i
save asking salary details for last. because like we say in the states, you
never want to appear too money hungry, you always want to appear as if the
job itself is of more value to you than the pay. turns out that the witch, caroline (mcdonalds suggestion beeatch) also believes in this theory. she tells me that we will discuss pay last. ok, i think to myself, whatever she wants. we get to pay and i am satisfied. i am also satisfied with the other foreign teachers. another texan, a mexican girl and her husband, a french, an italian and tami, my now great friend from zimbabwe. i meet tami on day two at the kindergarten, where she proceeds to tell me that my start date would not be until september 1st. what?! really?! im broke and staying in a youth hostel...I NEED MONEY! ..and i dont need to wait until october 1st to get it.
--today i went to church with tami and paloma, the mexican girl. god (no pun intended), it felt good to be in a room filled with other westerners (the police come through, unannounced, almost weekly in order to check passports and make sure that no Chinese nationals are in a 'Christian' church. If they are, they are sent to jail). I actually broke down in tears at least 4 times during the 2 hour service. i dont know what it was...the loneliness, helplessness, struggle, despair, love, longing..who knows. but whatever it was, it was heavy and it was real. so it was at this service today, that tami and paloma both began to tell me what an asshole caroline, witch lady, is and how she could give 2 shits about any of our welfare. being that i am homeless and running on empty, as far as funds are
concerned, getting an abode of my own is of upmost importance. there is a
room at the school with a private bathroom that no one lives in. if the
school does not agree to let me stay here, i will find another school. Its principle. This country is insane.