I get sick of their banter
Their meaningless exchanges of words
Tossed back and forth the way words should never be tossed
Frivolously, avant-garde
Phony normality meant to calm the nerves of minds like mine?
With cynicism and objectivity I measure it out
Weigh the situation that is so nicely sprinkled with empty compliments
And buttered with simplicity
You are who you're with
Oxymoronic, smile and nod, keep slipping through the cracks
And struggle with the anticipation that always follows struggle
The absence of a void that allows you to blend back in
Just in the nick of time
And
As day fades to night, my cynicism fades
I can rest
My mind is clear
And everything that got in my way no longer matters
I revel in this peace
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Please don't assume you know me
Because the way I am fools everyone now
I don't think you could put me back together
If I shattered at your feet
But I listen closely
And the heat it swelters
Because I don't want to love anyone now
So I try and keep pace with the rhythm that I'm thrown
And I desperately try to convince myself, that I can't stand to be alone
But it's interrupted by the way I talk
And the way you drift
And what that does for you
Nothing for me
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Their meaningless exchanges of words
Tossed back and forth the way words should never be tossed
Frivolously, avant-garde
Phony normality meant to calm the nerves of minds like mine?
With cynicism and objectivity I measure it out
Weigh the situation that is so nicely sprinkled with empty compliments
And buttered with simplicity
You are who you're with
Oxymoronic, smile and nod, keep slipping through the cracks
And struggle with the anticipation that always follows struggle
The absence of a void that allows you to blend back in
Just in the nick of time
And
As day fades to night, my cynicism fades
I can rest
My mind is clear
And everything that got in my way no longer matters
I revel in this peace
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Please don't assume you know me
Because the way I am fools everyone now
I don't think you could put me back together
If I shattered at your feet
But I listen closely
And the heat it swelters
Because I don't want to love anyone now
So I try and keep pace with the rhythm that I'm thrown
And I desperately try to convince myself, that I can't stand to be alone
But it's interrupted by the way I talk
And the way you drift
And what that does for you
Nothing for me
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Insignia
I can feel the pull of gravity and it spins me to no end
The moon is full and so they say
That tonight we'll all go mad
I carefully commence my plan of escape
Retreating from their chaos
A moon so full it spoke
Ancient whispers of forces that pull people to madness
And calamity to sadness
Bitter sweet moon do you make the calls
The ones of justice when no one knows the truth
Like the erroneous origin of time
Obsolescent, but we follow its prophecy of truth
I don't buy time, and I don't even care
I never wear a watch, and by a full moon I will swear
That people drift through phases
Lost in thought, yet so engaged
Not seeing when it's okay to not realize
The complete significance of life
The moon is full and so they say
That tonight we'll all go mad
I carefully commence my plan of escape
Retreating from their chaos
A moon so full it spoke
Ancient whispers of forces that pull people to madness
And calamity to sadness
Bitter sweet moon do you make the calls
The ones of justice when no one knows the truth
Like the erroneous origin of time
Obsolescent, but we follow its prophecy of truth
I don't buy time, and I don't even care
I never wear a watch, and by a full moon I will swear
That people drift through phases
Lost in thought, yet so engaged
Not seeing when it's okay to not realize
The complete significance of life
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
insignificance
Let's all play together
Mind games
Let's all pretend to care
As we acknowledge inferior authority
With glazed over, empty stares
The bravado of one is noninfectious unto me
It makes me bored so I disengage
And allow myself to be free
I leave this place and let my mind take the wheel
My body continues its cycle of complacency
And my thoughts fly furiously through the air
I look down at them and laugh
Because I can't make myself care
I will not be owned
By one who is ignorant
A peasant uninformed to life
And the knowledge that it holds
You have to keep your mind in motion
And from regressing you will learn
That a happy place you thought you'd lost
Will soon be yours to own
Mind games
Let's all pretend to care
As we acknowledge inferior authority
With glazed over, empty stares
The bravado of one is noninfectious unto me
It makes me bored so I disengage
And allow myself to be free
I leave this place and let my mind take the wheel
My body continues its cycle of complacency
And my thoughts fly furiously through the air
I look down at them and laugh
Because I can't make myself care
I will not be owned
By one who is ignorant
A peasant uninformed to life
And the knowledge that it holds
You have to keep your mind in motion
And from regressing you will learn
That a happy place you thought you'd lost
Will soon be yours to own
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You sit and wait
Longing for that call while allowing your mind to spin in circles
But it won't always come
So you push
You wait some more
Until the idea of praying doesn't sound like such a bad idea
I wanted to cry
Longing for that call while allowing your mind to spin in circles
But it won't always come
So you push
You wait some more
Until the idea of praying doesn't sound like such a bad idea
I wanted to cry
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
revival
Darkness falls
My memories lurk
Over me like the gravy I do not eat
With the mashed potatoes that I loathe
Close knit circles of people who share
Like the bees that crave the same sugar that they do
Comfort and peace
Two words lost along the way
My silhouette is fading like sunsets on cold snowy days
I have arrived
Alone at my place
No more doubts
No more doubts
My memories lurk
Over me like the gravy I do not eat
With the mashed potatoes that I loathe
Close knit circles of people who share
Like the bees that crave the same sugar that they do
Comfort and peace
Two words lost along the way
My silhouette is fading like sunsets on cold snowy days
I have arrived
Alone at my place
No more doubts
No more doubts
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Compliantly floating
Not through the air
But through all of these days
When your mind reels in on something it shouldn't be thinking of
And yet your heart just doesn't care
In the darkness of secrets, outside, that's where we always met
Cold slabs of pavement, muffled voices, tears and smoke…the smoke and mirrors
That eventually led me back to you
Thousands of miles of ocean to deter, but your name always on the tip of my tongue
To be so free, yet to be a prisoner all the sameAlways defeated, but still winning the game
I take their jabs and their cold foreign stares
And retreat inside my memory
A place that's free of cares
And yet your heart just doesn't care
In the darkness of secrets, outside, that's where we always met
Cold slabs of pavement, muffled voices, tears and smoke…the smoke and mirrors
That eventually led me back to you
Thousands of miles of ocean to deter, but your name always on the tip of my tongue
To be so free, yet to be a prisoner all the sameAlways defeated, but still winning the game
I take their jabs and their cold foreign stares
And retreat inside my memory
A place that's free of cares
=========================================================
Take back the time
Take back the faces
Keep a couple of memories, but fill in the missing spaces
Read it, learn it, live it
You're a product of it now
The million empty stares that glide across the concrete
How they frightened you at first, but how you grew so in their graces
What rolls off of their tongue when they speak
Now rolls right off of yours
Take back the faces
Keep a couple of memories, but fill in the missing spaces
Read it, learn it, live it
You're a product of it now
The million empty stares that glide across the concrete
How they frightened you at first, but how you grew so in their graces
What rolls off of their tongue when they speak
Now rolls right off of yours
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Most memories fade
But it seems that mine drift
Bewildered by their antiquity, left hanging on their rift
Rainy day music echoes in the back
Of a room that is darkened by perpetual black
Overwhelmed by emotion, and with not one shadow of a doubt
I envision the city, and all of its filth
Just so I'm able to find my way out
Drenched with the water that the sky no longer wants
Blanketing the waste and embracing the hurt
I flip to the next page to find bluer skies
And with great abandon
Close my ears to their cries
But it seems that mine drift
Bewildered by their antiquity, left hanging on their rift
Rainy day music echoes in the back
Of a room that is darkened by perpetual black
Overwhelmed by emotion, and with not one shadow of a doubt
I envision the city, and all of its filth
Just so I'm able to find my way out
Drenched with the water that the sky no longer wants
Blanketing the waste and embracing the hurt
I flip to the next page to find bluer skies
And with great abandon
Close my ears to their cries
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So our plane I guess was probable, that its conclusion would end up grounded
And through its windows it was clear
Of the indifference through which it sounded
The girls all kept their smiles
But in their faces a facade
That stood out and stared
And it made me wonder
From what dynamics this was born
Every time I prepare to board, it's always on my mind
How the disenchantment of fortuity potentially paves the road ahead
Always selective hearing, but not always done through choice
I muse my own reality
And then I disregard its voice
------------------------------------------------
At night
Everything falls into place, i feel alive
Like lyrics to one of my favorite songs, save for a shift of subject
Maybe not
Maybe i am silently screaming, but screaming for what
Happiness, struggle, aggression...maybe all of them
Will i find out why i put myself through this, before my time here is up
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I understand little of anything that I hear
I understand a smile
And I know the meaning of power
Loneliness fades as the days fade as well
And the doing of my own actions are what have put me in this hell
A face that I think of, I think thinks of me too
A beautiful stranger of whom I shouldn't even know
Is possibly an angel
Sent to watch over me and to see that I grow
Miles apart between us the atmosphere does lurk
I am not a part of it
Foreign faces, foreign words, foreign films
This is my reality now
Bravery takes center stage
But fear always lingers in the back
My own bravado is shocking to me
Seeing how very much of it I lack
Regret is an emotion that I don't believe in at all
Its consequences open the doors to experience
And its only through experience that we learn
I must grow from what I have done, and I must learn to lock the box
To keep safe the secrets
From the other ones thoughts
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I listened to that song over and over, hearing all the words that I now know by heart
So our plane I guess was probable, that its conclusion would end up grounded
And through its windows it was clear
Of the indifference through which it sounded
The girls all kept their smiles
But in their faces a facade
That stood out and stared
And it made me wonder
From what dynamics this was born
Every time I prepare to board, it's always on my mind
How the disenchantment of fortuity potentially paves the road ahead
Always selective hearing, but not always done through choice
I muse my own reality
And then I disregard its voice
------------------------------------------------
At night
Everything falls into place, i feel alive
Like lyrics to one of my favorite songs, save for a shift of subject
Maybe not
Maybe i am silently screaming, but screaming for what
Happiness, struggle, aggression...maybe all of them
Will i find out why i put myself through this, before my time here is up
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I understand little of anything that I hear
I understand a smile
And I know the meaning of power
Loneliness fades as the days fade as well
And the doing of my own actions are what have put me in this hell
A face that I think of, I think thinks of me too
A beautiful stranger of whom I shouldn't even know
Is possibly an angel
Sent to watch over me and to see that I grow
Miles apart between us the atmosphere does lurk
I am not a part of it
Foreign faces, foreign words, foreign films
This is my reality now
Bravery takes center stage
But fear always lingers in the back
My own bravado is shocking to me
Seeing how very much of it I lack
Regret is an emotion that I don't believe in at all
Its consequences open the doors to experience
And its only through experience that we learn
I must grow from what I have done, and I must learn to lock the box
To keep safe the secrets
From the other ones thoughts
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I listened to that song over and over, hearing all the words that I now know by heart
Frantically writing in invisible ink
The thoughts to decide if I would swim or sink
Words about flying and being free, words that I clung to
But could never really see
The cage is never big enough once you find yourself inside
And the air is never breathable when you share with half the night
One ear to the ground and cover your ass, don’t talk to strangers, stay off the grass
Redundancy always beats its wings to a pulp
And while imagination might starve you to death, the beat will always goes on
Take advantage of your situation or it will take advantage of you
And learn to blend in, not just to endure
A well of creativity, one could never have fathomed dry
Has been tapped of all its greatness
And has now been left to die
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The lightning stung my eyes so
But just in time for me to open and see
A plane of beauty, so effervescent it was
That I could not look out and see your face
But it was in my mind, tattooed and bare
And the beauty of it offset my time
But then I lost you too, the summer wind
And although I sometimes find
That I am still alive
When the night does all but end
If I could just come in for a moment
I swear I’ll take nothing but a memory
I swear I’ll take nothing but a memory
Because its only out here that I am truly aware
That I am undeniably someone else
I hear all of their music
And God it sounds sweet
But I cannot ever tell which ones will tell the great story
And which ones like sand
Will wash away
To never be heard from again
To never be heard from again
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wondered if I’d see the picture
The one where she is dressed in only white
And happiness all seems but brimming
From echoes in the starry sky
When day finally greets me
That then I’m forced to look and see
The two haunted faces before me
That remind me I am free
From the strain and confusion of a time when I
Once though that I was blessed
But rose above the weights
No longer pulling me down
To look at the larger picture and
Seemingly smile to know
That no one was even around when it happened
And when I smile again
It is just because then
I realize I am able
To let it all go
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Expressionless faces have never had so much meaning
I wonder what they think when they stare at me
I wonder if I'd even want to know
The moon accompanies me when I need guidance
And I need guidance more than I care to admit
How safe and beautiful and consolatory it is to gaze upon it
And watch it glare back at me
All the while knowing that only 1 moon exists
The same one looked upon by every human being that I know
On Green Dolphin Street, is where I'm wondering now
And as I roam
A fellow friend, an artist, reaches to me through music
And although I can't reach out to many
I find this is the only proximity to happiness that is within my reach
When I chose to survive
I needed no one to help me or tell me why
And its in that fleeting moment of clarity, when suddenly you realize you're aware
That the saddest moments can become your closest friends
And the loneliness you live with is only there to hold your hand
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I walked around for so long and never knew I was lost
Until I met you
I never knew what unhappiness was
Or how much longing could hurt
Until I left you
And the pain was too much
When I was lonely and doubt shook my hand
Your kindness came to greet me and give fortitude again
When we were together I never knew such joy
And when oceans crept between us I felt emptiness galore
You impressed upon me, a stamp that was all your own
Filtering out all of the doubts and struggles that my heart has ever known
Looking like scattered ants
The people from where I sailed
No engine to elevate, no wings there to soar
No captain or copilot to see me ashore
Only a gentle light, burning far off and to the west
Resonating comfort while whispering release
I held on so tight and ascended towards that light
Smiling with resolution as I saw you below
Because I knew in that moment
It was ok to let go
———————————
I wondered why nobody else
Openly communicated through spoken word or silence
About the shear beauty of having one's time to one's self
Solitude
And perhaps company, when paired with your audacious mind
It was as if no one aside from myself
Noted the joy of being alone
In one's head
Resting on the breaches of solitary confinement
Even though sometimes it carries me to places
Where I see what might have been
Then trying to play it cool
Is impossible for me to do
But still your sometimes light
I can see it flashing bright
Somewhere far off in the distance
And then I knew why silence was golden
As I helped solitude to quiet her voice
It was then that I thought about you
And decided it true
That I would never feel lonely again
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sun clipped the wing of the plane
But it didn’t clip mine
Mine were still engulfed in the shadows
The others eyes still closed-not yet ready for dawn
Some brave ones were ready to see
That rising ball of fire, so desperately wanting to greet me
I counted back the hours
From 6 to 5 and finally to 1
Your day had ended, and mine had just begun
A solo trip for two and from departure I knew
That I couldn’t waste the time
Because it had only just begun
***********************************
Queen dawn reigned
From the sofa's corner
Legs propped up, half smiling at him as the music played
And I talked typed faces
As he drank bourbon
And sipped some beer
The republicans weren't afraid
So you gave me your recipe
...stir the eggs gently
And wait for the batter to rise
My glasses came loose and as we looked for the screw
You came out of your disguise
And then I fell into you
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